Whatever the reasons are don't matter, what matters is how we handle them, and how they affect us in the long run. Some of us haven't handled resentment and bitterness very well. We see it affecting our thinking, our feelings and how we interact with the people around us. Bitterness and resentment are a heavy burden to carry around with us day after day. It's like a big rock that we can hold in our hands as we are walking along.

But what happens to that rock the longer we carry it ?

It gets heavier and heavier. The longer we carry it, the heavier it gets, until we get to the point where we can't carry it another step.

We have two choices we can make when we get to that point: What do you think they are ?

1. We can rest until we have regained our strength and then pick it up and continue walking.
2. We can put it down and just leave it behind and start walking again.

What do you think is the best choice out of those two choices ?

I'm not a rock collector, so I'm going to just leave it behind. But there are others that are going to pick it up and go on as they always have never changing a thing. Bitterness and resentment is a heavy rock that we all have to learn to just drop and go on with our lives growing.

Bitterness and resentment is a four step process that slowly destroys a person, but it has lot of by-products that always come with it.

1. It causes people to alienate themselves.
2. It causes people to feel unworthy and in bondage.
3. It causes strife and sin.
4. It grieves the Holy Spirit and alienates you from God's presence.

It causes people to alienate themselves.

Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loin coverings. And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. Then the Lord God called to the man, and said to him, "Where are you?" And he said, "I heard the sound of Thee in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid myself." And He said, "Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?" Genesis 3:7-11

The problem that people have is that when they are in a time of sin or trouble, they have an inherited need to be away from people, just as Adam and Eve did in the garden when they tried to hide from God. But bitterness and resentment magnifies that need and makes you want to withdraw even more. You don't want to be around people that are happy, or feeling good about themselves, because you don't feel that way and you want people to feel the same way you do. So you start to knit pick everything they do and pretty soon, no one wants to be around you.

The heart knows its own bitterness, And a stranger does not share its joy. Prov. 14:10

As much as you don't want to be around people, they don't want to be around you even more. I hate to be around someone who never has anything good to say, because I can see the good in most things.

Do I see good in everything all the time ?

No, but I try to because I know that being negative is a worse feeling than being joyful in the Lord, and I like being in the presence of God. But when you are bitter and resentful, you become what you really don't want to be, alone and miserable  if you look honestly deep into yourself . Bitterness causes people to feel unworthy and in bondage .

Have you ever seen someone who is so bitter that they hate themselves ?

He has besieged and encompassed me with bitterness and hardship. Lament. 3:5

They hate themselves because feeling bitter and resentful is a great hardship that most people can't bear. Because it takes a lot of effort,  there is a lot of physiological stress that has to go with it. You always have to be trying to justify the reasons why you are bitter and resentful, and then try to convince people you have a right to feel the way you do.

What is the problem with that ?

No one else cares because they don't feel that way. They don't feel the same as you do because they don't want the poison you're trying to feed them, so you now have a bigger burden to carry, because you don't like the way they are treating you because they won't agree with you so you can feel justified for the reasons why you are bitter, and now you are bitter at them too. So here you are even more alienated than before, telling anyone who will listen how much of a jerk they are. Pretty soon everyone's a jerk and you have any one to turn to when you really need the help. Then when enough time passes, you've beat yourself down so much that you feel like God doesn't even want anything to do with you anymore. So you go around looking like someone has been dragging you from the bumper of their car for years and it's impossible to say anything that isn't negative.

You feel abandoned by God and alone, so that makes you even more bitter than you are now so you take a new turn, it's all God's fault this is happening and now you feel justified to hate God now. Then after a while if you're lucky you can come to your senses, and realize how much bondage you are in to your own attitude, because you can't take the alienation. People need to have other people in their lives. So you need to make a change.

Thank God for that because some people will refuse to change, they will demand that God bow to their twisted way of thinking, then end up lost forever.

You really don't want to go there !!! God loves us so much, that He will allow us to harbor feelings of ill will towards another person, even if it causes us pain and separation. He will allow us to grow from these experiences, in spite of ourselves.

It causes strife and sin .

"For I see that you are in the gall of bitterness and in the bondage of iniquity." Acts 8:23

Do you know anyone who is always complaining about things, if you don't do it their way, or the way they think it should be done, even though you and them know its wrong, but they are too angry to give in ?

Do you know anyone who is constantly gossiping about someone else and telling you how much they dislike them ?

Or someone who dwells constantly on a past relationship, and never seems to talk about anything else, while you're around them ?

That is called sin and it has to stop because it is contentious, ill feeling and it causes division in the body of Christ. It tears people down instead of lifting them up. We are called to be the salt of the earth, to love everyone the same way that Jesus loves us. Jesus sees everyone the same way, He doesn't favor any person over anyone else, and neither should we.

Pursue peace with all men, and the sanctification without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled; Hebrews 12:14-15

We are to pursue peace with all men, not some of them, we are to pursue peace, but not on our terms, because there is none righteous. We  have to pursue peace the same way Jesus did.

Remember what the two great commandments are now ?

Thou shall love the Lord thy God with your whole heart, with your whole mind and with your whole body, Thou shall love thy neighbor as yourself. On these hang the law and the prophets. We are to pursue sanctification.

What is sanctification ?

To be set apart for God, the state of growing in divine grace, as a result of Christian commitment after baptism or conversion. We have to change the way we see things, the way we do things and the way we feel about the people around us. We have to show the same kind of mercy we were shown, the same grace that we were saved by, because if we don't the scriptures say: without which no one will see the Lord. If we want to be with Jesus in heaven, then we have to be just like Jesus on this earth.

It grieves the Holy Spirit and alienates you from God's presence.

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:30-32

Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor and slander be put away from you.